dream text ~ sample ntbk page


#14 dream text page

All text © 2010, Rick Grimes.


d 11/17/’81 (1) Tues 12mid-5am

In ‘group’, in lower floor of building like monolith but smaller, more intimate yet still / stone and glass, desert palms outside in courtyard (with garden ‘Ken’ watered); group in separate room / spacious but low ceilinged; carpeted. I on raised section, others ‘lower’.

Flux of yellow tropical shirt, & dark blue shirt between shrink & I as we argue, in persuading tones, whether I should leave or not.

I feel I seem unreliable. I say yes, he no, (yet he also knows can replace me). No real progress yet; can pretend I won & am leaving.

Before go to lockers on other side of hall is booth where go in & get new clothes, coats formed on you. Others gathered to get in. Tommy A. for one. A coupla others I kno standing in & back. Perhaps booth goes thru wall back into group room & is door.

As I’m in other side, Buddy Ebsen enters wearing new Tshirt, w statelike figure on it; the ‘coat version’ soft, red, I’d enjoy wearing. I said, perhaps, how I like coat. He sez, “You’ll need one.”

Cross hall where meet, in locker room section, (openended on left nearer glass wall), dark holloweyed B.G.+ me imitation in soft-lined dark blue jacket. He getting 2nd coat from locker I think. He my obvious ‘replacement’, (actually the one who should leave), dismaying. I should have red coat of life & fire.

Woman from left his mother. Smaller; darker red/brown hair than my ma. As approaching feel that same ol’ socially vetoed bond. The mother, I think, mentions having dinner w them in cafeteria somewhere near in the bldg. There are others milling about thruout.

There is a corridor (or one formed by them) of yellow orange chalk pictures prominent on easels. Granpa Munster did them. Have on my critic’s pose, yet, because I love the weird crank I ‘reserve judgement’, hesitating on finally stating any criticism. Now is Eddie [Munster] who is artist-lessoning. [sic]. He overseered by Granpa, who asks ‘should he continue?’

Eddie has made a tooth car, a Pinewood Derby racer of no certain color, irregularly covered by ‘impacted’ white molars. Contest for looks & speed. I judge, but have sympathy for Eddie.

View of some four or five cars, one-after-one spinning about like wrecks, maybe last one or so Eddie’s in mini-explosion where lead plug spotted. “Who done it?” Who is mystery wrecker?

Intuit will be easy to find culprit as it will be one of few left whose car’ll still run. [ I, judge, really the culprit. Perhaps know this in dream].

Vignette of the commotion: Beaver Cleaver, in white sweater, struggling with irate kids & their parents. Then video of Wally, Beav’ & Eddie Haskell & a 4th–dark, vague (Lumpy, I guess, who was both darkhaired & mentally ‘vague’, and also ‘on less’ ).

They laffing ’bout some resolution, this being end of ‘nother episode. Seems fluid, more distinct & real—honestly casual like more of real selves enters in.

As focus in on Eddie, remember he’s now a cop & is he ever sad? & he seems so here.

His laughter caught in its fade, I notice his yellow teeth. Greyed by ‘film’.

Now more removed, but watching large tv, shifts from ours in livin’ room at beginning to Adamson’s at later end. A kind of news with Morton Dean CBS-type anchor, but richer & more vivid. Last feature, (location shots: Italy? Europe? Eastern U.S.?) a voiceover: “famous Cardinal, (name unfocused), was born he weighed 20 stone.” [ = 280 lbs. ]. This I take to be like 20 lbs. & hopefully less, so dream fairer & mother in less pain. Tho’ this is far from so.

Imply next is mother of same; voice of interviewer / reporter somewhat English bent, intense, but muted like fever. The mother is American poor.

Man you no see asks large, white, long-&-heavy-faced woman, “Would you say giving birth is an ordeal (other women should endure?)”

“God, yes!” she interrupts, not meaning other women should.

Immediately continues: “Help me get out the next sack!”

She’s sweaty, in pain, soft enuff, but worn with bruises on her face—beaten. (By husband? Decide not).

A small bandage on cheekbone see when turns head. She overlarge, long tall blonde, fat. Unattractive, but pain impresses.

Shift into frame: long metal trough with 7 babies on each of both sides. Mention of her 14th, but must be the 15th on the way, as equal #s in trough & not the 13th. Or one baby not hers.

Hear her, still giving birth, say, “An’ I got plans for all of ’em. One’s goin’ ta So&So College…”.

 – End of first 11/17/81 dream

transcribed 3/18-.22/2009


d 11/17/’81 (2)  5am-6:45am

The Bridge area…a quicky mart, but has art class cabinets, already open.

Dig throo scattered magazines, a lot of the pages coming apart. There are other similar cabinets, a wall of two, stacked that block anybody else’s access. Beyond comic rack, ‘tween ends of these, is more conventional grey-flecked, squared counter with projected surface, behind which is MR.TETCH, or his cousin, (ala the older Ford Rainey [bigoted store clerk in film “My Sweet Charlie”; & ‘bandage man’ burned by train engine steam in “White Heat”].

Don’t want his notice or it might be ‘you read it, you buy it…’.

Many ‘gloved’ pages variously slid off… couple with photos of Moe Howard, in one young tho’ haggard. Caption: “He knew his heart, but found it hard to release yelps on stage.”

Look for more, find forgettable scraps. But, black & white pulp photo of ROBERT C. MORTON, famous fat ‘lady’ in shortish blonde, smoothed-down curls, pleasant face, and enormous dress of white & pastel crinoline. He/she is sitting on a locker trunk.

A beautiful vaudeville, freak show pitchcard photo of the late ’30s. Name in caps, but in an other, nonartist’s hand.

Find little newspaper clip, small rectangle of nothing but the name “Robert”. Fold it in half, angularly, w/ right hand fingers thinking to ‘steal’ for ‘use on Robert Hutton book’, think of clerk, leave it. [Skip several excessively convoluted and backstepping lines about various possible commonplace photos including Curly Howard; whether or not my memory was distorting things, as in waking life occasions with other twice-seen photos of Soupy Sales, & Mr. Peanut mummers, provably different from how I’d ‘remembered’ them to be; actor Robert F. Simon’s name similarity; and variant photos of western comedian, Old Rubberface].

Blue & brown mag cover, […], $2.50 cover price. No want to spend B. L.’s dough…qiuckly put it back, when two (Eastern) Indian kids gathering candy at other end of aisle.

Clerk has moved elsewhere, did not hear them playfully run in or hear them “squeeching”, [squealing & screeching]. Realize I don’t mind if the kids or anyone else mess up the mags.

Now going out, but from wing of church ‘fellowship hall’ with its wooden, windowless door and push rod, into grey cloudy skies near to raining.

Close to night coming. An alley of white bricked walls, wide but with three cars skewed in a line.

The last, (furthest), with low fins, fishtailing almost to the wall of ‘church’. I squeeze between and around its angle.

[ the rest in brief ] :

man in red hat, (but w/out poodle) [saw when raking leaves day before], again exchanging reassuring banalities as i check too narrow tires.

I ‘drive’ car 120 mph, hands off wheel, dark roads.

WILSON’S dept. store near Bridge, [both recurring dream areas], on cane stilts. Boy in suit w/ balloon-stick may trip or whip them, just tosses in front of me.

And, i use my orange rear end balloon to rise walk by store, can see whole sign and inside but not interested.

am in room writing notes of dream, especially ‘120 mph’ interrupted by bear licking my hand brought by Death/ally figure as ‘D.M.’ mother & sister get up from floor pallets beside my bed I roll over, see clock is 6 am but is digital clock.

They exiting naked, asking if am ok, sister closes door back.

Semi-real Blondie and Dagwood, but like kids.

(Blondie’s) grey haired mother, (same art style), helps Blondie leaning in front door; props Dagwood on stair rut, his arms raised alongside rail like cast aside doll.

Blondie slides down banister, sitcom fashion.

Daisy & Alexander returning home as drunken teens.

[conts on next ntbk page… {not posted here}]

transcribed 6/19/09 by Rick Grimes

— RG (July 9th, 2009).

<Unpub’d/’80s                                                 Dreams>

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